What do you believe?

I recieved the following from a friend. It seems that the question I asked had quite an impact on her. This is what she sent me... I pray that it blesses and challenges you!

There are a few particular dates in your life, which will change your life. They will change who you are, who you become, and perhaps what paths you take along the way. For me some of those dates are the day I got married, the day I had my daughter, the day I had my son, and the day I lost my mom to name a few. I am a born again Bible believing Christian and nowhere in that did I mention my relationship with Christ. They were all things that happened to me physically. I didn’t happen to mention any dates that pertained to my faith, because as much as I think I love the Lord; maybe I don’t have Him in the place where He needs to be in my life. I can’t remember the day I was saved. I vaguely remember the day I was filled with the Holy Spirit (I was 11 and it was at summer camp at Big Prairie in Ohio). I do remember rededicating my life to Him at a youth service one Wednesday night in Spring of 2000, right before I graduated from High School (a “Christian” High School no less). I went to a Christian Bible School and definitely got some really good tools that have helped me along the years. But I’ve never had that longing to know Him and put Him above everything else in my life- including myself!

I have really started searching and seeking Him with my whole heart in the last few years, I’ve finally become desperate for Him! I was feeling good with the strides that I was making in my walk until one day I asked my pastor for some help with a discussion I had been having with a friend. I needed help clarifying a few things, so I could go and finish the discussion with confidence. I needed to know what we, as a church, as Bible believing Christians- think about this particular topic. And I think of all the dates that have been important for me in my life, this might be the most important. He wouldn’t give me an answer! He asked me “What do you believe?” I was caught off guard. “Wait! You want me to think for myself and find the answer myself?!”

So, I did. I began thinking and looking for an answer right away. I was consumed with finding an answer. I emailed my pastor and he would email back with verses that would help me in my search. He was not brushing off my need for help at all; instead he very wisely pushed me to look for it myself. I don’t know if he knew that his simple 4 word question would change my life like this, but it has. It most definitely goes on the list of dates that have changed my life. “What do I believe?” It’s not up to my pastor, my husband, my kids, or anyone else to define me and my beliefs. It’s up to me! I am the only one who will be held accountable for my actions, and I am the only one who can choose my way in life.

What About Marijuana?

So, this past Sunday, we did a Q&A time on relationships. Of course, we couldn't answer ever question, but I thought this one deserved some attention.

"What does a woman do when her husband has an addiction that is harming the
family as it causes him to have rages but he says I anger him, not the marijuana?"

OK. There are multiple levels to this question. I want to get to the marijuana question, but first I have to answer several other parts.

1. THERE IS A DEEPER PROBLEM HERE. If a married, adult male has an addiction to marijuana that is affecting his relationship to the family, it isn't marijuana that is the issue. Marijuana makes a person relaxed, and you say that he has "rages." So, in an unprofessional opinion (but someone who has seen a lot of this), he is self-medicating. He has issues of anger and tension that he is MASKING by using marijuana. He should talk to a mental health professional to see if there is something more going on than just emotions.

2. "He says I anger him." Please understand that this is the blame casting statement that is made in every abusive relationship. The abuser always says that the person they abuse is to blame. If this is such an abusive relationship... protect yourself NOW! Flee to someplace safe and don't go back until the problems are under control.

3. "He says I anger him." If he isn't an abusive person, maybe he is right? Think about this. If he has issues relaxing and feels tension constantly, are you helping sooth or intensify that tension. As a wife, you can either turn up the heat of tension or turn down that heat.

4. Now to the use of marijuana: The problem with using marijuana is that it is unhealthy. Ok, I know it helps glaucoma. But, lets be serious... you don't have glaucoma. Just smoking the stuff fills your lungs with junk. The bible says, "Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial. But not everything is constructive." (1 Cor. 6:23) The only real reason to use marijuana in our culture is to "have some fun." And, I will tell you that if you need to use anything (drugs, alcohol, food, illicit sex, etc...) to have fun, then you aren't very comfortable in your own skin. The healthier way, the way of Godliness, is to learn to be OK in your own skin, as you are. To "have fun" in a healthy, benefical way.

So, here are some of the best arguments against marijuana:

• Pot takes motivation away. OK...I know you have this buddy that smokes pot and is a high performer. But, if we are really honest, those who smoke a lot of pot don't really excel in motivation. And to have a great life, you have to be motivated.
• IT IS STILL ILLEGAL, and it is really hard to get a good job with a police record.
• It costs a lot. What could you do with all the money you sent up in smoke?
• It makes you paranoid. So, you act like a jerk without even knowing it.
• IT IS STILL ILLEGAL, so you lose the respect of people who are law abiding.
• IT IS STILL ILLEGAL, so you can lose your job if you test positive for pot.

Being bit by a copperhead may not kill you, but I still say you are stupid if you play with them. I feel the same way about marijuana.